The things I’ve heard while pregnant

“Are you having twins?”… “Are you sure?”

Yes, I’m sure I’m not having twins, but thank you for staring at my baby bump and basically telling me I’m a beached whale. 

“You polished up your food, I guess it’s true what they say- eating for two!”

This is how I normally eat.

“How far along are you?”… “Oh wow, you still have far to go”

Yeah but whose really counting.


“Enjoy the quiet while you can”

I guess you missed my baby that I’m carrying on top of my bump

“Wow, you do not waste any time”

It’s true, we decided after five weeks of having our first child that I missed being pregnant so much that we decided to have a second! 

“Sleep when your baby sleeps”

Ah yes, I’ll just get my housekeeper to clean up my living room, kitchen, bathroom, bedroom and hallway.

“Get your sleep in now, while you can!”

Thank you for reassuring me that it will only get worse when baby number two arrives. 


“Let’s hope you have a good baby!”

But I’m hoping for a colic one that doesn’t sleep! 

“Do you have a name picked out yet?”

No, we forgot to do that!

“How are you feeling?”

Tired, always assume tired. 

“You’re still pregnant!”

I hadn’t noticed! 

“A boy AND a girl, now you can stop!”

There’s no perfect combination and having one of each doesn’t complete our family goals. 

“Enjoy him while he’s young. They grow up so fast”

Thank you for the advice young person who has never had a child.


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