Today on my third wedding anniversary, I’m reminiscing about the beginning of our story. How we met and how we fell in love. As much as I feel giddy when I think about those early memories, I would never go back even if I could. I love where we are today and how much we’ve grown together. We are healthier, stronger and happier and it’s only by God’s great grace that I can say we are each others best friends.
One memory in particular stands out from all the rest. It’s not really a happy memory, but it really showed me Nick’s heart and how wonderful he really is. That night, I sat on the edge of my bed, shaking. I had just told Nick some things about my past that I was not proud of. I told him of my “rap sheet” if you will. I don’t remember what he said, but it wasn’t much. It was THE longest night of my life, because I unravelled all of the ugly bits of me and there was silence. At the time, Nick was working night shifts and so the silence was real and the waiting hurt. The next morning around 6:00 or 7:00 he finished work and sent me a text to meet him outside just for a minute before he heads home to sleep. I leapt out of my bed, threw a sweater on and ran outside. And there he was, standing in my driveway. I felt my heart pounding in my ears as I thought for sure he was here to break up with me. I knew that my past had hurt a part of him and I was fighting to keep my eyes locked on his. As I ran out I realized that I hadn’t put on any socks or shoes and my bare feet were freezing on the cold pavement. He noticed too, and without even thinking about it he said “step on my toes”. I felt a wave of emotion take over as he cared for me in such a simple way.
Clearly we didn’t break up and I am so thankful for his compassionate and loving heart that saw past the hurt and the brokenness of my past and continued to point me to Jesus. I never felt shame in that way ever again. I knew God had not only forgiven me and gave me a clean slate, but He had also given me a man who saw the good in me.
A little over a year later, he asked me to be his wife. He said on that day that he never felt a hug like the one I gave him after I said “YES”. It was genuine and full of love and excitement, but it was also wrapped in deep thankfulness.
I’ve never met a man like Nick and I’m certain I never will in my life. He is such a hands on Dad who loves his babies with so much of him. Nick is my love story through and through. I know that our story is still just beginning in a lifetime of marriage and I know that there will be plenty of times we will both have to drop our pride and our hurt and say to one another “step on my toes”. If there’s anything I’ve learned so far in our journey, it’s that marriage is more then commitment and that it’s also continuous work. A full time job plus overtime! There has been plenty of happy and joyous moments, but I can tell you that there has been real hurt and so much healing. We have both invited God to work on ourselves and have seen His hand in our marriage through so many seasons of life together.
My prayer as we enter into this next chapter, is that we continue to see the good in one another, that we take time to show each other our love and that we always fight to keep God in the midst of our hurt and our happiness together.
With all my love for all of the seconds.